Neighbors

Photo is of a beach with a blue and cloudy sky with the sun and peach tones in the background.
Photo by L. Laguna

I am no stranger to talking about love. Throughout the years, I have written about it in I Fall in Love, When Love Is Not Enough for Justice, Let People Love You: Community Care Knows No Boundaries, My Anniversary, and more. As you can tell from my posts, I discuss love in a number of contexts.

However, I live in a society where people tend to talk about love through very limited and specific contexts. If I say love, people often think about romance and passion first. If it is not the love of a partner or spouse, they think about love within a family context like the relationship between a parent and child, between siblings, or between a person and any number of people in their extended family.

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The Consequences of Authenticity

Photo is of a person in a striped, multicolored shirt, hat, pants, multicolored shoes, and bag around the shoulder. The person is posing in front of a stone wall with doors on both sides. The person is posing with the right arm stretched out straight along the wall and the left arm bent so that the hand is touching the face.
Photo from Flickr

Yesterday I was talking to a colleague, and she admitted that she feels like she has felt a “wall” in this pandemic among other crises in the world. She certainly is not the only one.

Recently, I was scrolling through social media and saw a forum from the Harvard Kennedy School titled Three Wednesdays in January: insurrection, impeachment, inauguration. I paused and smiled to myself. As a writer, I was impressed with the combination of alliteration and accuracy in that title. Whoever named that event deserves a raise.

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Resisting the Attraction to Distraction

When I look at my life, I think it aesthetically looks pleasing. I’ve grown a robust network of kind and amazing friends and other loved ones. I have a job I like. My basic needs like food, shelter, and water are fulfilled. That is more than what I’ve had in the past. That is more than what others have. Like the picture of the sunrise and trees below, life has been a blur, but I’ve been doing my best to still appreciate what’s beautiful.

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Since I was diagnosed with breast cancer, I’ve had all types of flashbacks of my life, including challenges, accomplishments, goals, milestones, and a wide range of experiences from the beautiful to the ugly. If I was able to tackle all of those things, why should breast cancer be any different?

In conversations with different people, I have received advice to distract myself. I feel ambivalent about that tip.

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The Untaught Lesson of Continuous, Enthusiastic Consent

A few weeks ago, I shared my initial reactions to the Babe article about the woman named “Grace” who went on a date with Aziz Ansari. The date progressed from one of sexual attraction to sexual consent to sexual misconduct. (To understand legal differences in sexual misconduct, sexual harassment, and sexual assault, check out this Vox article by Alexia Fernández Campbell.)

Couple

Photo from Flickr

In the days following the Babe article’s release, people on social media spat out a range of opinions from saying Grace’s story strengthened the #MeToo Movement to claiming it weakened the cause. Some blamed Aziz, others blamed Grace, and another set of people held both of them accountable. The degree to which they were held responsible depended on whose posts you were reading.

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When Love Is Not Enough for Justice

It is Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, and I am feeling all types of feelings about the world. Some of MLK’s most famous quotes are about love and justice, but I am thinking that love is not enough to advocate for justice.

LoveWall

Photo from Flickr

Last night, I saw the Babe article about the woman who went on a date with Aziz Ansari that described how their night together evolved from sexual consent to sexual misconduct. (Since the allegations surfaced, Aziz responded with his own statement describing how his sexual activity with her was “completely consensual.”)

After reading the Babe article, I had separate text conversations with a couple girlfriends who were as disappointed as I was by the news. Even if this incident may not qualify as sexual assault for legal purposes, it sounds like there could have been stronger communication and more respect shown in their sexual encounter. Since #MeToo has become ubiquitous in American culture, we keep hearing how men in Hollywood, media, and other industries have been predators and creeps to women.

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