Category Archives: Social Connection and Relationships

Tell Me About Yourself: When Your Independent Self Still Misses People

Posted in Global Issues, Health and Wellness, Personal Growth, Social Connection and Relationships, Tell Me About Yourself by

In the Tell Me About Yourself series, we last heard from my de facto cousin in Manila. Now we will return to the US and learn about the COVID-19 pandemic experience of my cousin in the Chicago area.

This cousin is making the most out of her time while social distancing and living in quarantine. She is proudly independent and enjoying solitary time, but she still finds herself missing people. (Who knew that could happen?)

There is an innate need for human connection even when you are independent.

What are you feeling a strong need to have during this pandemic?

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Photo from Flickr

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Tell Me About Yourself: Figuring Out What is Extra in Your Life

Posted in Global Issues, Health and Wellness, Personal Growth, Social Connection and Relationships, Tell Me About Yourself by

The past few weeks, we have followed the pandemic stories of my friends on the West Coast, East Coast, and Midwest. Now we will travel around the globe to the Philippines—virtually of course—and hear from one of my relatives in Manila.

Since COVID-19 has grown across the world, there has been much discussion on defining who and what is essential: essential workers, essential businesses, and essential services.

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Photo from Flickr

In clarifying what is essential, we have to define what is extra too.

In today’s profile, my cousin (or de facto cousin) shares what is extra for her.

What is extra in your life?

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Tell Me About Yourself: When You Don’t Want to Return to a Bland Life

Posted in Global Issues, Health and Wellness, Personal Growth, Social Connection and Relationships, Tell Me About Yourself by

In my last post, I shared how the COVID-19 pandemic has impacted—even improved—my friend’s life in Iowa.

Today we are following the experience of my other friend who lives in the Boston area. In his story, there is no ER visit like what we saw in The Stories That Don’t Make Headlines. There is no delayed medical treatment like what happened in Tell Me About Yourself: When Family Planning Is Put on Hold. At the same time, there is not a long list of ways that his life is more convenient like what we read in Tell Me About Yourself: Admitting that the Pandemic Makes Your Life Easier.

As he would tell you, not a lot has changed in his life since the pandemic hit.

Interestingly enough, even when a global pubic health crisis does not dramatically change your life, it still might transform how you perceive it.

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Photo from Flickr

How has the pandemic changed how you perceive your life?

Here we will find out how it has changed his perception of his life.

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Tell Me About Yourself: Admitting That the Pandemic Makes Your Life Easier

Posted in Global Issues, Health and Wellness, Personal Growth, Professional Development, Social Connection and Relationships, Tell Me About Yourself by

Three weeks ago, in The Stories That Don’t Make Headlines, I shared an old college friend’s visit to a California ER during the time of COVID-19.

Then in Tell Me About Yourself: When Family Planning Is Put on Hold, I told you the story of another friend’s delayed fertility treatment due to the growth of the pandemic in the New York City area where she lives.

Since then, I reached out to my friend who lives in Iowa. I was curious to learn how much her life has changed as someone who resides in a small Midwestern town, which is nowhere near any current epicenter of the Coronavirus.

Unlike the first two people I mentioned, she has noticed more benefits in her life since this pandemic started. She is well aware of how this is different from many other people’s stories and is upfront about that fact.

Since she told me how her life has become more convenient, I have heard from other friends who have made similar comments. Of course, nobody wants this virus to continue; however, several have confided in me that their forced lifestyle changes due to the pandemic have compelled them to reevaluate how they approached their life prior to COVID-19 and how they want to seize each day moving forward.

How has the Coronavirus made you reevaluate your life?

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Photo from Flickr

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Tell Me About Yourself: When Family Planning Is Put on Hold

Posted in Global Issues, Health and Wellness, Personal Growth, Social Connection and Relationships, Tell Me About Yourself by

Last Saturday, in The Stories That Don’t Make Headlines, I shared an old friend’s experience in a California ER during the COVID-19 pandemic.

Today we are switching gears from the West Coast to the East Coast. I am sharing the experience of my other friend, whose office is based in New York City and who is currently working remotely.

She and I did a Q&A. After reading the transcript of it, I related to her experience in three ways:

  1. The stress of observing others who do not take precautions in public: As a breast cancer patient, I too get stressed when others do not practice social distancing and other recommended public health measures.
  2. The annoyance of not having your typical outlets for self-care: What do you do when your usual suspects for coping, relaxation, and entertainment are no longer safe? I’m still figuring that one out.
  3. The frustration of family planning being put on hold: Although I am not trying to have a family this minute, both cancer and this pandemic are not making it easy for me to have babies.

What part of this interview is relatable for you?

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Photo from Flickr

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Clarifying What I Want from Life

Posted in Global Issues, Health and Wellness, Personal Growth, Social Connection and Relationships by

If you’ve kept up with my blog in the past few months, you know I’ve been juggling many thoughts, emotions, and decisions related to these events:

  1. Being diagnosed with breast cancer as a young adult
  2. Going through breast cancer treatment during the COVID-19 pandemic

Mainly, I’ve been sharing what my diagnosis and what this pandemic mean for my current life. The truth is I don’t have complete clarity at this moment, but I can tell you what I am learning from this process of discernment.

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Image from Flickr

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Sending Practical Actions

Posted in Health and Wellness, Personal Growth, Social Connection and Relationships by

Yesterday morning, I went on Facebook to post in a support group for young breast cancer patients and survivors. I got connected to this group Young Survival Coalition at the recommendation of another survivor shortly after I was diagnosed. After reading the website, I signed up for their Facebook group as soon as I realized they had one.

Since I joined the online group, I’ve mostly read other people’s stories, comments, questions, fears, and victories in their battles with breast cancer. Sometimes their fears have amplified mine, but their hopes also have given me hope when mine felt low.

As a newbie to breast cancer, I got to learn about terminology, resources, and other issues that I otherwise wouldn’t have known had I not joined that online group. More knowledge can be both disconcerting and comforting; therefore, I have to be very mindful of how I interact with the page. Overall though I find the benefits to outweigh any discomfort I feel from reading patients’ and survivors’ challenges and fears. We all need an outlet to share our unfiltered thoughts, and that forum serves that purpose.

This online support group for young breast cancer survivors is the opposite of content that I find highly annoying online, and that content is inspiration porn.

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Photo from Flickr

There’s nothing like inspiration porn to make me roll my eyes, especially as I undergo cancer treatment during the global pandemic known as COVID-19, or the Coronavirus.

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Too Busy to Play Telephone: Practicing Consent as a Lifestyle

Posted in Health and Wellness, Personal Growth, Social Connection and Relationships by

During my first few weeks of recovery from surgery, my family visited me. My sister flew in a couple days before my mastectomy and stayed for a week. She overlapped by a day with my parents, who stayed in a hotel near my home for almost a week and a half.

By the end of my parents’ last visit with me, my mom raised the topic of how people didn’t know how to talk to me. That is why some of them hadn’t said anything to me about my breast cancer diagnosis.

For context, this is an issue that came up quite a bit after I was initially diagnosed. My sister asked what she could share. A few cousins asked what they could share. Somehow other members of my extended family aren’t sure what they can or cannot say about my diagnosis to others.

Some relatives wanted to share my story with others, and other relatives were saying that they shouldn’t. I heard this from a few different sources in my family.

My mom said that some relatives told others to “just pray” for me—or at least that’s the story in this never-ending game of telephone.

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Image from Flickr

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When the Caring Person Needs Care

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More than a month and a half after I received my breast cancer diagnosis, I attended a support group for women who had all types of cancer. During the latter part of the session, a breast cancer survivor introduced herself and wanted to find out what brought me to the group. After learning that I was newly diagnosed with breast cancer, she gave me her contact information and offered to talk to me further about resources.

Within a few days, I emailed her, and we were able to talk on the phone a day later. She shared her story with me, outlined the challenges she faced, and provided advice for my next steps.

“Get a Keurig, ” she told me. I almost told her that I was a tea drinker, but I was intrigued by her specific recommendation. I asked her why she suggested a Keurig. Then she explained that people could serve themselves when they visited me. I wouldn’t have to worry about serving them.

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Photo from Flickr

Something about her recommendation sat with me in a funny way. I couldn’t put my finger on why. Then it occurred to me how much she had thought about serving other people when she had been the one in dire need during her recovery.

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To Manage My Tone or Not

Posted in Health and Wellness, Personal Growth, Social Connection and Relationships by

If you’ve ever known someone with a serious health issue, chances are that person lied to you at some point. It might not have been a major lie, but they might have sugarcoated their feelings in one conversation or another.

Since I shared my diagnosis with in my social circles, people have connected me to their friend, family member, colleague, or other contact who has dealt with breast cancer. When I talk to the connectors, they emphasize how strong, resilient, and inspiring their contacts are.

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Photo from Flickr

Then I talk to their contacts, and I realize how much those contacts have lied or sugarcoated the truth for others in their lives.

I’m not here to do that.

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