Allow Yourself to Just -Be-

Posted in Health and Wellness, Personal Growth, Social Connection and Relationships by

In my last post, I mentioned that several loved ones have been struggling with some of the most difficult times of their lives. In all of these cases, there were health issues at the center of those difficulties. At the time I wrote my last post, I didn’t know what would be the outcomes of their situations, but last night I found out how one story ended: one of my loved ones passed away.

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Photo from Flickr

My cousin isn’t here anymore because of sudden complications with his health, and I’m wondering what made those complications so sudden. Was it truly a medical mystery, or was this another example of someone dying because that person lacked access to adequate healthcare?

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Real Self-Care When Your Life Isn’t Paradise

Posted in Health and Wellness, Personal Growth, Social Connection and Relationships by

Almost each day someone asks me, “Hi. How are you doing?”

That someone could be a coworker, cashier, bus driver, neighbor, or another person that randomly ends up in my path.

Inevitably, I respond, “Fine. How are you?”

Then that person answers in one to two words. The reply might not be a full sentence. Bonus points if it is.

These daily exchanges between others and me can be so brief that there is little room for follow-up questions. There is no way for others and I to verify each other’s answers. Are we really fine? What makes us fine?

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Photo from Flickr

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My Relationship with Dating

Posted in Personal Growth, Social Connection and Relationships by

I’m a single adult living in a major metropolitan area on the East Coast. I didn’t always have this status.

From ages 20 to 26, I was with one partner. We met at college in the middle of the cornfields of the Midwest. He was two years older than I was. Throughout our relationship, we saw each other through many milestones: our first apartments (and countless other apartments), my college graduation, his mother’s death, his master’s program graduation, our first jobs (and many more), layoffs, unemployment, moves across the country, living in the same city, economic downturn, living in different states … You name it. We lived it.

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Photo from Flickr

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Why I’m a Fan of Minimalism But Not the Movement

Posted in Global Issues, Personal Growth by

I’m not a materialistic person. Since I was in high school, I have gravitated toward a career path in education that does not facilitate a life of luxury; therefore, I’ve had to be mindful of my expenses.

Do I have fun and buy nice things? Yes, on a budget. Do I believe in self-care? Sure. I’ll go on vacation; it might be in a hostel, cheap hotel, or friend’s home, but I’ll go on a trip. Do I believe in self-indulgence? Sometimes. However, because of the career path I’ve chosen, self-indulgence can happen only so often.

Due to my desire to be intentional with my spending, I follow social media accounts such as becoming minimalist to inspire me to live a life with more meaning and simplicity.

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Photo from Flickr

Being a minimalist is most challenging for me during the holidays because that is when sales are inescapable. After reading Reflections on Black Friday Shopping by Joshua Becker of becoming minimalist, I felt guilty about my Black Friday shopping spree. In this blog post, Becker argued that this day was a “celebration of unbridled consumerism.”

Then I stopped feeling guilty when I remembered a past conversation with my friend. She stated that shopping sprees are not bad as long as you plan for them in advance. Like anything else, consumer habits need to be judged within the proper context.

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What Informs Your Thoughts and Prayers?

Posted in Global Issues, Health and Wellness, Personal Growth by

Last Wednesday, student Nikolas Cruz shot and killed 17 people at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School, in Parkland, Florida. Like many of you, I was saddened to hear about one more mass shooting. This case is especially grave since early news reports revealed that he had a history of violence, and it was so evident that his classmates used to joke that he would become a murderer one day. In fact, senior administrators and teachers at his school were warned about him. Still the shooting happened. Still many politicians and other people are offering thoughts and prayers to the victims.

The day after the shooting, I saw that several friends had posted the following photo on Facebook:

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My reaction to the photo was mixed. Why can’t we have thoughts and prayers as well as policy and change? While I respect that not everyone believes in thoughts and prayers, why do thoughts and prayers have to be framed as mutually exclusive from policy and change?

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The Untaught Lesson of Continuous, Enthusiastic Consent

Posted in Global Issues, Health and Wellness, Personal Growth, Social Connection and Relationships by

A few weeks ago, I shared my initial reactions to the Babe article about the woman named “Grace” who went on a date with Aziz Ansari. The date progressed from one of sexual attraction to sexual consent to sexual misconduct. (To understand legal differences in sexual misconduct, sexual harassment, and sexual assault, check out this Vox article by Alexia Fernández Campbell.)

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Photo from Flickr

In the days following the Babe article’s release, people on social media spat out a range of opinions from saying Grace’s story strengthened the #MeToo Movement to claiming it weakened the cause. Some blamed Aziz, others blamed Grace, and another set of people held both of them accountable. The degree to which they were held responsible depended on whose posts you were reading.

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When Love Is Not Enough for Justice

Posted in Global Issues, Health and Wellness, Personal Growth, Social Connection and Relationships by

It is Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, and I am feeling all types of feelings about the world. Some of MLK’s most famous quotes are about love and justice, but I am thinking that love is not enough to advocate for justice.

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Photo from Flickr

Last night, I saw the Babe article about the woman who went on a date with Aziz Ansari that described how their night together evolved from sexual consent to sexual misconduct. (Since the allegations surfaced, Aziz responded with his own statement describing how his sexual activity with her was “completely consensual.”)

After reading the Babe article, I had separate text conversations with a couple girlfriends who were as disappointed as I was by the news. Even if this incident may not qualify as sexual assault for legal purposes, it sounds like there could have been stronger communication and more respect shown in their sexual encounter. Since #MeToo has become ubiquitous in American culture, we keep hearing how men in Hollywood, media, and other industries have been predators and creeps to women.

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My Resolution: Create More Space for Kindness

Posted in Personal Growth by

It’s the first week of the new year. That means it’s resolution time again. In the past few days, I read and tweeted articles on making resolutions related to health, finance, and productivity, but I did not recall seeing any focused on kindness. Is that because kindness is overlooked as a resolution? More specifically, is it overlooked in my social network and in the online pages I follow?

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Photo from Flickr

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Looking Beyond the Bright Side

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A week ago, a friend saw me and asked about a public meeting I had attended for my town. Within the next couple years, my local transit system will implement multiple renovation projects that will inconvenience residents from my town as well as the surrounding areas. I had been telling my friend about these projects for months, and she wanted an update the day after I had attended the meeting.

I summarized the highlights of the meeting and described how I had voiced my opinions on the poor planning of the renovation. After I vented my frustrations, she pointed out that I at least had spoken up for myself. I looked at her warm smile and paused. I could tell she had good intentions to comfort me. She is like that with everyone.

I responded, “It’s okay. We don’t have to focus on the silver lining all the time.” I went on to explain that the situation was what it was. There was no need to doll it up. She then understood that she did not have to bring up the bright side in that moment.

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Photo from Flickr

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